Hmm…
I don’t know where to start, but it’s
a long long story.
I promised myself that I would
update this blog even after graduating from high school and now, see, even I’m
already graduated from University, been working for 2 years.
So many things happened back then
and I was so grateful to be alive until now.
I was majoring Korean language back
then, an impulsive choice because I thought I just had to enter that university
at that time, yeah the most favorite university.
In my life, there is no happiest
moment than my university life. It was a rough journey though; I managed to
graduate 3.5 years with highest GPA at my faculty. I gained a lot of
experiences there. Academic, organization, friends, part time, at least once I could
experience. However, there was so much regret back then, because I cannot
maintain time really well. I focused more on study, so I missed many events,
seminar, even internship experience. My last semesters were spent by doing part
time job. I did enough of it, mostly being a private teacher for Korean kids,
teaching English and Indonesian. I also have tried doing translating or
interpreting an event, once. I realized now, time wasssssss soooo precious. I couldn’t
manage my time doing more productive things. Like, learning what I like (e.g.
business or economics thing) or doing what I like, which is no other than
selling things (making business or etc.). That is why, when I joint Major
Student Union (Hwarang we named it), I chose to be on Danus (Fund Rising) team.
So, talking a little bit about
business, since I was at elementary school, I have been selling things. I started
selling things for the first time when I was 3rd grade of elementary
school. At that time, I sold snacks to my school friends at a school bus. I bought
the snacks from a small shop (warung) near my house. But you know what? I sold
it with the same price. Knowing it, my mom took me to the market to buy snacks
from big supplier so I could buy with cheaper price and have a few profits. But
it didn’t last long, because on the next grade, I sold snack made by my mom. It
continued until I entered junior school. At high school, I have ever sold
stationary like flashdisk, headphone, watch, etc. I did it with my tablemate. We
were going to sell jersey and clothes also, but we were distracted by so many
tasks back then. So, we couldn’t continue doing that. What a waste! At university,
besides selling things for Danus (because it was obligatory haha), I teamed
with two friends to do project. We made our team Daenara (DEsi fioNA saRA),
which in Korean language also meant Big Country/States. We did sell popup
frame, like you print design and glue it paper by paper, then frame it. We ever
did this project for senior graduation merchandise. Besides pop up, we did sell
food, which is Tteokpokki (a street Korean snack). We liked it tho, so we sold
it haha. We had ever joint bazaar to sell this. It was sold out. We got so many
customers, who were satisfied buying our products. It felt more than happy. Yeah,
it was a nice moment.
Until now, I always felt that why I could
not continue doing business, something which I really like, my passion. I never
blamed the major though, because I also got many experiences I never got
before. I also studied Korean business, because we have one subject about it. I
just feel now, that being an university student, we have much leisure time, why
don’t we take that time to do so many productive things as possible. Now, all I
need is time.
After graduating from University, oh
wait, even before graduation day, I’m already accepted at one of biggest
company (in Korea). I was assigned as HR officer and also doing translating or
interpreting a little bit. At the first semester of employment, I felt enjoyed.
All co-workers there are cooperative enough, unlike my boss. Korean boss also
did well to me, and my close friend. Until, I was assigned to Jakarta office
(previous was Cilegon). I managed to adapt myself there, with the co-workers,
other employees, the bosses. My workload was added much more than before. I did
many jobs. At that time, I started to feel stress. I couldn’t find nice friends
also. Local boss is shit af, Korean boss is nice though, another Korean (different
div) is also a shit af. Anyway many things happened which make me cry, stress,
until I fed up and decided to resign from the company. My decision for quitting
the company is one I should praise to myself. You did well, Fionna. No one is
blaming you.
My regret never stops as everyone
says that Human can never be satisfied. I’m still regretting how I can manage
time better, to do more productive things. I’m 23 years old now. I felt myself
is nothing compared to others outside. Even though I’m running, everyone is
much faster than me. I have been wasting much of my time.
I cannot blame anyone. I worked for
my family. Sisters are still attending university while dad is entering his
retirement day. No one can be a shoulder for this house, except me. I graduated
faster than my friends, focused on part time job on my last semester, or even
employed before my graduation day is no other than to help my family. Mom said
that she want me to get scholarship overseas. I really want to apply for that,
who doesn’t? But, I’m thinking of them again.
After all, for 23 years I have been
living, I still cannot find my biggest goals, which can make satisfied. I feel
that I’m always lacking at anything. My biggest talent is only struggling, if I
may say. I just can sell my hardship.
Now, I’m unemployed. Still applying
for another company and hoping for better company, job, boss, offering. Although,
I cannot feel at ease, because I still want to do what I like which is doing
business.